Thursday, July 25, 2013

The Human side of me has been winning, Oh, Goddess let's get it together!

It has been a big struggle to keep up my promise to myself. I sit here thinking, "Gosh, imagine if I would of kept going, where I would be now?" It does not help that I have two friends that are on a healthy weight loss journey too and they are doing fab. I am so absolutely happy for them. Jealous a bit, but very happy. Hey, like I said the human is winning! What has made them stay on their journey and not me? I think I am just plain old weak. There are times when I say to myself "Self, why don't we just stay fat? Maybe we had our day in the skinny sun." Well that only lasts until I look in the full length mirror naked and scream!

Do not get me wrong I have lost some weight. We recently moved into the country and I have had to do a lot of physical things. Moving boxes, unpacking boxes, and gardening. A lot of working in the yard! Matter of fact I sit here at my computer lame for digging out weeds in the long driveway and helping the hubby with our new Japanese garden area. Who needs a gym when you have a shovel and tons of dirt to move. But to tell you how much I have lost, I can't. I threw the scale out in a moment of madness. Hind sight: scales cost money. Huh, maybe I should join a Yoga class? I hear the calming effects are wonderful!

My biggest down fall is really just habit and consistency. Summer is always hard. I do not tend to do well with exercise and eating right. Come to think of it I barely eat. Maybe once or twice a day. Let me tell you, it DOES NOT work! If it did, I would be rockin' a bikini! I am not purposely starving myself, I just do not have an appetite. Talk about throwing my metabolism off. Summer/Exercise? Ha! I am not a hot weather gal. Especially the way this summer has been. Hotter than a pepper pot and then 18 days of rain, and then more heat. (Hit rewind button, play again.) That has been our Summer. Ugh! I know, I know, what about going to a gym? Well my friends Planet Fitness is no more. We are now located about 30 minutes from a location. The membership was cancelled. So my activity has been walking, riding my bike, and pushing tons of dirt around. Remember the consistency factor I mentioned? These activities are not daily. So what is a Goddess to do? She thinks she needs to go talk to her "God" aka the hubby, for a tread mill and a set of weights and a weight bench.

Goals for the week:

-Eat! If I am not hungry, eat some of those awesome fresh veggies from the garden. Remember nothing like a plate of sliced tomatoes and cucumbers.

-Buy new tennis shoes. The old ones met their demise in the garden. (The lack of tennis shoes is a  good reason to not walk, the Human states quietly, in which the  Goddess gives her a smack upside the head and says "shut it!")

-Walk or ride bike nightly.

Friday, February 22, 2013

This is what I get for working out?

This is what I get for working out? This is what was rolling through my mind,as I stared back at six EMS/Firemen standing in my bedroom. For some woman this would be a dream come true to have six Firefighters in their bedroom. (sorry I could not resist) but for me it was a nightmare.

A few days prior to this, I started feeling a bit "under the weather." I chalked it up to that time of the month. During this time I get super sick, but that is a totally different story/blog, ha! No, this was something entirely different. After dinner of homemade chicken noodle soup, I laid back down. Just as I was drifting off into Never land, my heart started beating super fast, as if I was jogging. Then I got chest pain and tightness. After a few minutes of this not going away, I called my husband upstairs. We decided it was time to call 911 when it did not get better. What the heck?

I chewed up a full dose of aspirin and waited. When EMS got here, my blood pressure was 165/85! Yikes! They determined I was NOT having a massive heart attack, but said I needed to go in to be assessed. Ugh. I knew that meant a few hours in the emergency room. Since I was NOT having a heart attack, my hubby took me in.

The Voyage of the Goddess to the land of E.R

Blood work, cardiac enzymes, EKG, blood pressure cuff in place squeezing my arm every so many minutes, My blood work came back that I was super low in Potassium which can and will mess with your blood pressures.  Enter the nurse with two of the biggest pills I have ever seen. At least if I choked on them, I was in a good place! GULP! "Okay, can I go home now?" Enter the Doctor. "No, we need to keep you over night to get two more blood draws to check the cardiac enzymes. When a cardiac incident happens, it sometimes does not show up until 3 to 6 hours after, plus we want to do a Nuclear Stress test on you in the morning." NOOOOO!


Typical stay at the hospital, No sleep, no food or drink due to my testing in the morning, Poking and prodding, freaking out about all the other crap I could pick up from being in there. In the morning I was injected with a nice little cocktail of radio active something. Hour later, I am under a moving camera for about 10 minutes, then off to the treadmill. At least I wore my tennis shoes to the hospital right? My nurses running the test were amazing. They explained how the treadmill would start, increase in speed and incline. Joking that we would be taking a nice hike through the Appalachian mountains in Tennessee. I said I could handle that, as long as we were not hiking the Rocky mountains. I got this, I have been busting my butt in the gym haven't I? Buahahahhaha! The Goddess was laughing inside. She knew that it would be my journey to Hades on that last incline. It was. Nothing like jogging up the side of mountain.

Act Three:

The Results were that my heart is just fine. Pumping at 70 percent. What? Why not 100%? Well, I looked in the mirror and realized that. But my ticker is good. However, I have been referred to a cardiologist to "maximize my health." Not a bad idea considering my family history. Whew! They want me on a low-sodium diet, which I was doing any way with my own doctor. Take a heart healthy multi-vitamin, with CoQ10, B's, lycopene, etc.

Home. But I did not come home alone. Remember my statement earlier, I think it was in "ACT TWO?" the one about picking up some other crap from the being in the hospital? Yeah, well...

Five days later, I came down with the most beautiful upper respiratory infection. Fever, sore throat, etc. Here I am six days into this and I had to break down and call my family doctor for medicine, my herbal/natural remedies were not going to win this time. Relief has come as 500 mg of antibiotic three times a day.

So I have told my "Goddess Inside" to enjoy this little break now, because it is not going to last long, back to the gym we will be going. This will not stop us!

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Exercising I will go, Exercising I will go! Oh, how sore I am, exercising I will go!

Yep, the will is there but by golly the flesh is weak. My fat human body is fighting the Goddess who is trying to claw her way out. FYI the Goddess is winning. I have been consistently exercising, and I am rocking it! This is the first time I have been this diligent. Don't get me wrong, it stinks to lug myself out of the house to the gym, and for the record, I personally do not think I have never used some of the muscles that I have been using. I even thought of looking up them in a physiology book to make sure I am not some sort of mutant! Once I enter the gym it is on! All I can say is I thankful for endorphins, can I get an "Holla!"

What makes this different then all the other times? Well, the will. The simple will to be healthy and fit. I have said I doubt I will never be a size 8 and model again, but I do NOT want to look like this, at all. My other motivation is having my work out buddy. My friend Lisa is on the same page as I am. She gets it. We encourage each other. We push each other. She is the first one to tell me to buck up and put my big girl pants on! I am grateful to her.

The other thing is despite my soreness, I can already see a difference. My stamina is better. I have went from doing cardio two to maybe three days a week for 30 minutes. I can now do 55 minutes cardio. I work out six days a week now. My strength is growing. On the days that I strength train, I have to raise the weight amount on certain muscles groups.

Here is my schedule:

Monday: Cardio and Strength. *On these days we are at the gym for about 2 1/2 hours, working it!
Tuesday: Cardio
Wednesday: Cardio and Strength
Thursday: Cardio
Friday: Cardio and Strength
Saturday: Cardio
Sunday: off

Some days due to schedules, it is harder to get to the gym, so that is when I have to get creative.

My Creative Moves!

-Pop in a Walking Away the Pounds DVD and work it with hand weights.
- Put in some "jams" and boogie around the house. I love to dance. (Don't worry neighbors, I will pull the shades to not scare you!)
-Bust out the tap shoes and bust a few moves.
-Have my hubby run me through his martial arts work out.He has studied martial arts for 28 years and I have trained with him in a structured setting before. Ugh, nothing like having to refer to your husband as "Sir."
-Pick up the pace while doing those household chores.

It all comes down to moving it!  I admit I get frustrated it is not coming off as quickly as I like. But it did not come on overnight either.

Daily Reminder:

In the lyrics of one of my favorite singers to dance to Ms. Christina Aguilera

You are beautiful in every single way...

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Stuffed Turkey Breast With "Good" Grains.

  Life is busy for many of us. I know that it can be a lot easier to stop off at the fast food place, or order in. Believe me, been there done that. But here is a quick and easy healthy dinner for you and your family.

Before I begin, I will say that using a Turkey breast is not the most optimal choice in meat when you want to create a rolled, stuffed dish for dinner.. Chicken breast is a better choice. But for this I was going for fast.

My grocery store carries many organic and yummy items. Seed of Change have great side dishes that you can microwave in a matter of seconds for a healthy side dish.


3 to 4 lb boneless, skinless Turkey Breast.
1 package of Seeds of Change Quinoa & Brown Rice with Garlic, I love me some Garlic, so I added a bit of fresh to it.
3 to 4 slices of Canadian Bacon, to add a bit of flavor, and to "entice" my kids. Haha!
1/4 cup of low-fat cream cheese
2 Tablespoons of Extra Virgin Olive Oil
1 tsp. Oregano, Basil, Rosemary


Roll it as best as you can, secure with toothpicks.
 What I did was put the Turkey breast between two sheets of parchment paper and used my rolling pin to pound the breast as flat as I could. (I could not find my meat tenderizer hammer thingy.)

-Cook your package of grains as directed.

In a bowl, I mix the cream cheese, and spices. Once mixed,  lightly spread it onto the turkey breast. Place the slices of Canadian Bacon on top of the mixture. Then you add your cooked grains
Taking the long side of the breast, roll it or as I had to do fold it. Secure with toothpicks. Lightly bast the breast with the olive oil, and roll it up in foil. Place the breast in a baking dish. Because I wrapped it in foil, I did not have a messy baking dish to clean either! Bake for about 25 minutes or until meat is cooked.

Slice and serve with your favorite vegetable. We served it with fresh blanched green beans, and a fruit salad made from mixed berries.

                                                        Easy! Healthy! Yummy!

Monday, January 21, 2013

"It Is That Time Of Year!"

Can you guess from my title what I mean? No, it is not a reference to the arctic weather we are having in Ohio. Nope, it is not about Publisher's Clearing House ads. Let me give you a hint:

Cute, adorable girls offering you their delicious sugar-filled goodies in a box...

Yep, you guest it! It is Girl Scout Cookie time! Now if you are fortunate enough to skim by this sale, good for you. For me I have a Girl Scout in my home. The first order had to go in today. So as of now I am safe. The problem will arise when the boxes actually arrive.
For the past few weeks I have had this order form and managed to NOT add an order to it. Good for me you say? Well, I thought so. As we were getting a tally of all the cookies my daughter sold, she realized that she was a few shy of her goal. *Sigh* what is a parent to do? Well I will tell you. They become weak, they break down, they talk themselves into buying the difference. How could I not? Have you seen my daughter? Alright, maybe I am hiding behind her cuteness. Sure I could of ordered the boxes and had them go to the troops overseas, but I was weak. But I have until February 9th to work up my will power.

But then there is that "other" thing that is coming. The Hallmark holiday of Love! Valentine's Day this year will be blown since I will have probably ate all the Girl Scout Cookies five days before, (hey I am being honest) I have some ideas. My first idea is to just make a healthy dinner here at home. Candles, music, you know create the ambiance. But then again, because I ate all the cookies I will probably be so sore from working out, burning those little buggers off, that I will be too sore to do anything. Just kidding...maybe.

My other idea, one that will require my hubby to do (Hint, Hint dear) is to have him create this. My friend, Kate at Farm House 38 created a beautiful arrangement in a heart shaped candy box. She evens gives you a step-by-step tutorial. Fun!

No candy, only filled with roses. Ah, I can smell them! How beautiful is that? And NO Calories!

As much as I love flowers, I was even thinking I could make it easier on my hubby and he can even buy me vegetable seeds. I love to garden and it would make a great gift for my mental and physical health.
I think I have this covered, well except those Girl Scout Cookies, hmm...


Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Why did I do that?

Well I got a bit sassy yesterday. It has been a week in on my journey. I weighed myself. Guess what? I LOST 8 POUNDS this week. WAHOOOOO!!!!

Where did the sassy part come in? Well, I had read somewhere that it is good to give yourself a "cheat" day. Why not? I deserve it. Remember I said I am a all or nothing gal? Here is what I ate:

     A cream filled long doughnut, I actually could only take 2 bites out of it, it was horrible. Then I stopped at my Mom's and she had homemade teeny cinnamon rolls, about the size of a fifty cent piece. So I popped two of those buggers into my mouth. This was at about 9:45 a.m

           I did not eat until about 2:30ish because I was on the road taking our two Roosters, (I have chickens) to my friend's farm. By this time I was getting loopy. Lunch from a local Chili hot dog place called Rudy's. I had one chili dog with cheese, a small fry. When I dropped my mom off at her house, I popped another one of those cinnamon things into my mouth.

*Note by 4:30 p.m. I was in La-La land and had to take a nap.

     When I woke from my crap filled coma, it was 7:30 p.m. By this point I was hungry, but was starting to fill very sick. For dinner my hubby made the meal I planned of Stir-fry chicken and brown rice noodles. I ate that. Not bad.

Around 11:30 p.m when I should be going to bed, I made two small plates of nachos. My chips were organic sweet potato tortilla chips, which is fine, but I was not within the serving size. Plus I decided I wanted real cheese on them. Topped it with salsa and jalapenos. For some reason I am really into jalapenos.

So, was this a good day? HECK NO! and I am paying for it now. I am physically ill. I have major stomach "issues" (putting it nicely not to offend.) to the point of being incapacitated,  headaches, tired, my thinking is way off,  I feel like I have the flu.

Honestly, this is pretty close to how I use to eat before my journey. Not enough calories, not enough veggies/fruit, and no water. No wonder I am a fat and unhealthy.

Moral of the story: 
Old habits die hard, and this kind of cheating is not good for me. If you want to cheat, have at it, I do not judge. But I cannot go through this again.

On a brighter note:
I did force myself to work out this evening. It was really hard to get there, but I did. One hour of cardio between the bike and treadmill.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Clean No Cheese Nacho Cheese Nachos

 No, I have not lost my mind, nor is my title a typo. Continue reading...

I love Mexican food! Everything about it. But it is not always the most "healthy." Sure fajitas can be done, but what about Nachos? A few months back a friend of mine posted her nachos. She is totally for eating clean and healthy. She is one of my inspirations. I knew that I had copied down her recipe somewhere, but could not find it. So I ended up scouring old Facebook pics of hers. Yes, Monica, I was stalking your page. But it was for a good cause.

I wanted to make a dinner that would be healthy and fun for the family. A Nacho Bar! Granted the biggest issue was finding nacho chips that would be the best for me. Low sodium and clean. Sure there are great chips out there, but I needed less salt. So I made my own chips. I took clean corn tortillas and made my own. I cut them up into triangle shapes. Granted I did fry some of them, but I did it in organic olive oil. Some of them I baked, and they turned out just as yummy. Instead of salting them, I squeezed lime juice over them.

Now the no cheese part. There was no way my kids would eat nachos with out cheese. This is where my friend comes in. She rarely eats dairy so she found a recipe for Nacho Cheese, that is not made with cheese at all. Now do not stick your nose up yet, it was actually a success. My cheese obsessed husband actually loved it.

Our nacho bar had all the fixings. Black beans, salsa, corn, jalapenos, fresh guacamole, and organic sour cream. (just a bit for me) and the no cheese nacho cheese. To make this is quite easy.

Gosh, it was so yummy! If you think you would like to try this, here is the recipe: 

No Cheese Nacho Cheese

1 cup of cashews
1/2 cup of water
1/2 cup of red bell pepper
2 cloves of garlic
Favorite hot sauce to taste
Kosher salt, which I did not add gotta watch my salt intake 


In a blender add the cashews and blend to a fine mixture. Add the water and continue to blend. Next add the rest of the ingredients. Continue to blend to a nacho cheese consistency. Voila! Healthy Nacho cheese! 

Note: you may heat this up, but do not over heat, it will get lumpy. 

I doubled the batch, so I can freeze it and use it on snacks. So with the batched doubled it made about 2 1/2 cups or so.

Friday, January 11, 2013

The last few days

I am still here, plugging along. I know it does not sound promising. But it is! I have been doing great considering life has threw me some curves. Sick children. Enough said right?

Wednesday I had a follow up appointment with my doctor. I happy to report that my echo cardiogram looks fab, my blood work came back pretty good. My insulin/sugars are in perfect range! Wahoo! The Cholesterol is "eh." The total is right over the good area. My LDL is horrible, but the HDL is awesome. Which that is good. She wants me to continue on the Zocor for now, but I am sure eventually I will be completely off of it. I go back to see her April 11, the day before my birthday, so I am even more committed to my goal.

I am really rocking this clean eating. However, my body is in shock. Seriously, can we say gas, pain and bloating? I could totally do a commercial for a anti-gas product and I would not be acting. I do have a lot more energy just in this short time.

People have asked me how or what eating clean is? How I started it, how to get the family to do it. Well, here is the thing. I am a all or nothing kind of girl. Sometimes this is a positive in my life, and sometimes it back fires and bites me in my...well you know. For me, I had to just jump in and do it.

No, this is not Old Mother Hubbard's cupboard. It is mine. I started with removing everything out of my kitchen. Then I read the labels of what was in my food. Following the clean eating standards, which for me is only keep what was as natural as possible. NO Processed, NO chemicals, NO High fructose corn syrup, no junk basically. Drastic? You betcha! And shouldn't it be?

I am sure there are some that are balking at this. If you are not comfortable in throwing out food, start slow. Make a goal to whittle out the bad stuff. Or, you could always donate it to a food shelter/pantry. To me I feel no one should eat this junk, plus as I said I am a "All or Nothing" girl. I know me, if there is junk in the house, it will be in my mouth. Same goes for my family. If it is in there, they will eat it. Believe me I am getting a little resistance from the kids, but I am fortunate to have children that are not 100% picky. One of their favorite snacks is fresh hummus and veggies. Plus this not like they have not been down this "health" road before.

 I have even heard and used the excuse myself, "Eating better is time consuming." Sure it can be, but with the websites out there and oodles of good recipes, we have it made. I do not go into a grocery store with out a plan of action. This has helped me stay on the straight and narrow and saves a ton of time and money. When it is time to shop, I make a Meal Menu. I usually do two weeks at a time. From that Menu I make the list of items I need to shop for and just follow the list. Bam! you are in and out in no time. My list does include items for lunch, and snacks. Here is what I had for lunch yesterday. Quick, Easy, and yummy!

I posted it yesterday on my Facebook page. As I said it has been a bit hectic with having sick kids at home.

Daily Reminder:

This is not a diet, it is a lifestyle change. I want to be healthy.

Monday, January 7, 2013

Day #1, AGAIN!

Yes, again! I was fixing my breakfast this morning and suddenly realized just how many times I have had a "DAY 1." You know that could really make it or break it for me. Stinking thinking  crept in and I thought, "why even start? Here you go again, you are just going to fail." Then I realized you know, who cares? I will not know if I do not keep trying. So I decided to have a little laugh at myself, and go on about my day.


My day started with downing a liter of water right off the bat. Oh, the refreshing taste of water. NOT! Since my body is used to it's first liquid of the day being filled with chemicals and caffeine, I felt like I was going to throw up. I had to immediately fix breakfast and eat.  I have noticed that I do better with a lot of protein right away. I fill up faster, and not get all shaky. Thanks wacky pancreas. So my favorite "go to" is eggs. I made 3 egg whites, I sliced up a whole Roma tomato, and had about a Tablespoon of fresh, clean hummus. It was a bit of sparse breakfast, since I have to go grocery shopping tomorrow, but it was delish. My next thing on the agenda, was going to exercise.

My Take on Exercise:

Oh, exercise! How I loathe thee! You hurt me, you make me feel less, you challenge me in ways that I do not really know if I want to be challenge. However...I know it is good for me, so I will do it. (grumble, grumble)

Exercise for me has to be fun. I am NOT a "get on the treadmill for an hour" kind of girl. I do better when I mix it up. For example, Circuit training. After my 3rd child, I joined a Curves fitness center. I had a neighbor that went with me. 30 minutes, cardio, resistance, bing, bam, done! I did not lose a lot of weight, but lost about 19 inches. I liked the constant movement. I am positive I have ADD, so keeping it moving and changing is the key for me.

Right after the holidays, a Planet Fitness opened up. They had an awesome sign up program. It was a $1 to sign up, and it is $10 dollars a month. I have had memberships before, heck, I use to work at a local YMCA, but because I am a "Domestic Engineer" aka House wife, when money is tight, memberships are the first to go! When that happens I bust out my Walking Away the Pounds DVD's they are by far one the best at home work out DVDs. But this membership is one we can handle! I am now a member of Planet Fitness! Wahoo!

Here is my t-shirt and cool new gym bag! Oh, by the way I did work out today. Just under an hour. A mix up of cardio and weights. Oh, and guess what? This place has a 30 minute circuit work out, just like Curves! Sweet.
I did pretty well. My problem is once I get the endorphins going, I am like a horse out of the gate, GO, GO, GO! So I have to really watch my pace so I do not end up on the as the latest news story: "WOMAN HAS HEART ATTACK WHILE AT NEW FITNESS CENTER" that would not be good. There was also this resistance machine that I have now dubbed it as a medieval torture device. I cannot think of it's proper name, but it basically makes you use your weight, while pulling in with your upper body, and up with your lower body. It works the abs. At first I just sat there, and then I started laughing. My dear husband says "Are you just going to sit there and take a break?" I look at him and through laughing tell him, " I am doing it!" Yeah, that good. Looks like the "Abs" need a bit more work.

The Eating

Today as I previously said, I had a pretty good breakfast. Because grocery day is tomorrow, I was not a diligent as I could be. Lunch, I had a six inch Veggie sub on wheat from Subway and a banana. Dinner I did  3 egg beaters Garden veggie omelet and fruit from Bob Evans. Normally I would eat 3 meals and 3 healthy snacks to keep my blood sugar from dipping up and down. I may eat the other half of the Veggie sub I have in there since I am a bit hungry at the moment.

Trying to detox off of Diet Pepsi and cigarettes is hard. I did great in my mind today. I only had about 4 cans of soda. Which is low for me. Even with that low amount, I am having withdrawal. I had to take a nap to get rid of the headache. The smoking today. I normally would be almost through a pack, which is 20 cigarettes. Today I have only had 5. I am sure I will have another one before bed, dang habit. But I am being honest.

I found a cool little gadget at the store today. It is a Blender Bottle. I have never seen one. So the hubby and I bought two for our protein shakes. It is BPA free too. I am such a sucker when it comes to gadgets, I love the little mixer ball!

Well that is Day #1 off the list. On ward!

Sunday, January 6, 2013

I got the know how!

I find it funny that a lot of people cannot believe I am as fat as I am. What do I mean you ask? Well the thing is I have done my homework so to speak. How can you not? The diet industry is alive and kicking. What is so hilarious to me is with all the diets, low fat foods, no trans fat, fat free,  medical weight loss procedures, we are still such a fat, obese country. Look at me I am living proof! I admit it, I have rode the diet roller coaster. Let's see, hmmm...

  • I have been in Weight Watchers a total of 5 times. Great program, not always in my budget, and I found myself staying with in the points, however, I only lost 12 pounds ever!
  • I have tried Atkins, helped with my blood sugar, but I am not a big meat eater, and got bored.
  • I have tried South Beach, pretty good, but never was serious.
  • I have tried The HcG diet, sure I lost weight anyone would eating 500 calories a day. Plus the hormone made me break out with dark pigment spots on my face. Oh, Hell no!
  •  Not eating. Does not work by the way.
Now I am sure many out there have tried more diets then I have. You are more of a go getter then I am. In between my diets, I just didn't care, or had moments of false acceptance telling myself " I am accepting my big girlness!" Yeah, whatever. 

I am a hypocrite too. I am not stupid. I read a ton on health and wellness. Dr. Oz, he is my man! I love herbal remedies and am semi-educated on the use of herbs, essential oils, vitamins and the like. I "get" the human body. My sister teases me and says "every time I come over to your house, you always have good food, why are you so heavy?" or something along that line. Well, probably because I do not eat all the good food. For example today. Oh, and for the record, I start tomorrow.

What I have fed my mouth today:

Mornings start with a nice ice filled glass of Diet Pepsi and a cigarette, every day. (Habitual to say the least)
I ate a Totinos frozen pizza about 11:30 with more Diet Pepsi. Diet Pepsi is one of my addictions. I will crave this before I crave food, or a smoke. I kill a twelve pack a day. Gross I know.
I then put about 20 Dove chocolate covered almonds into the mix. Not norm for me, candy and sweets do not come into play until it is time for "EUNICE" to rear her wicked, nasty head. EUNICE is my pet name for that time for the month. 
Dinner will be a 3 ounce pork chop, about a cup and half of mashed potatoes, and two cups of green beans. That is it for my day. If I get the munchies, I may eat some popcorn or salsa and chips.

Yeah, really a healthy way to live don't you think?

Alright enough of the negative, how about some positive? Let's look at my plan for getting better!

Back in March, I found on a friend's Facebook page about Clean Eating. Well, I had to check this out. Basically it just means eating as close to natural as possible. No chemicals, no preservatives, no sugar, no processed foods etc. So, I cleaned out my kitchen and started eating most of my food as natural as possible. Ate small meals, fueling my body, rode my bike, walked, I had acupuncture to stop smoking, took vitamins, juiced and guess what? I lost ten pounds and felt awesome. Maybe I was on to something. I think I was. Why did I stop? Simple. I got sick with the flu and coming out of it fell back into old habits. The smoking did stop, but as I was entering my 3 week mark of quitting, my father-in-law passed away, and I smoked from stress thinking I had a handle on it. Oh, Boy. Can't fool me.

Tomorrow begins the "official" day. I will begin the process of clearing out the crap in my body, and replacing it with health.

Here are some of the things that inspire me:

Let it begin with me...

I am not a doctor, I am not a nurse or any health care professional for that matter. I am not a fitness guru. What I am is 40 years old, knocking on the door of 41. A forty something woman that has ate my way to become a fat, out of shape and most importantly unhealthy woman. A woman who has ate her way from all things that make her a "Goddess", physically, emotionally, and spiritually. You see I believe that if one thing goes, the others will. I have learned how important balance is.  Now before I really get into it, I am not looking for sympathy, or someone to tell me "Oh, you are not that fat." What I am doing is becoming accountable to myself. How? Well, by putting it ALL out there. See I figure if I put the good, the bad, and the ugly out there, I will have to do something. Maybe, just maybe, others will be inspired to do the same...  

Let me just tell you that as I write this, my heart is beating out of my chest, I feel my anxiety growing and all I want to do is hit delete! This is one of the hardest things I have ever done. It is embarrassing, it is admitting that I am human. Honestly, I just want to vomit, I am scared.  Breathe in, breathe out. O.k, here goes.

We all have a story, here is mine:

I am 5 foot and 11 1/2 inches tall. Weight was never an issue with me, until about 14 years ago after the birth of my first child. Up until that point I actually was hassled from friends and family for being "too thin." In my late teens and early 20's I was a part time model. I weighed 135 to 140 during that time. Right before I had my first child I weighed about 185. For the last 14 years I have become obese and unhealthy. I have issues with Insulin Resistance, Depression/Anxiety, high cholesterol, allergies, skin issues, and right before the holidays, found out that I have atrial narrowing of the blood vessels in my eyes, which is indicative of high blood pressure. Genetics do play a part in my health, but I will only give it so much credit. My health is due to MY OWN lifestyle choices, bad food, chemicals and not living clean.
 I smoke. Yep, I smoke! EWWWW, go ahead you can say it, I do. I am not proud of this. I loathe smoking, I hate the smell. So why do I do it? I smoked socially for a few years before I had my first child and stopped as soon as I found out that I was pregnant. I never touched it until about 4 years ago, I was dealing with some crappy life stuff and took a puff off of a friend's cigarette and started smoking. That is all that it took. If you do not smoke, don't! It is the most addicting thing and it is killing me. But I am committed to quitting.

This blog is not about a New Year resolution, it is not about me whining about how bad my life is. It is my way of getting healthy. Do I think I will be a size 8 and weigh 135 pounds and model again? Heck, no! Don't get me wrong, I would love to be that, but today I am a realist. This is not the first time I have entered into the "getting healthy" zone. But it is the first time I being completely honest with myself and others. It is time.

I could not find a better pic, since I usually delete them or crop them out!
My Stats:

Today January 5, 2013:

I am 5 foot 11 and 1/2 inches tall.
 I weigh 263 pounds.I wear a size "big girl", no I wear a 24 pant. My waist is 46 inches, and good Lord have mercy! my hips measure 55 inches!  Yes I am a walking heart attack. My chest, Hahaha, I joke and say this is the only good thing about being fat, I have a chest now! Under the ever sagging breasts it is 42 inches.

Well here it is, the beginning of my journey to health. I quote the Nike, and say "JUST DO IT!"