Sunday, January 6, 2013

Let it begin with me...

I am not a doctor, I am not a nurse or any health care professional for that matter. I am not a fitness guru. What I am is 40 years old, knocking on the door of 41. A forty something woman that has ate my way to become a fat, out of shape and most importantly unhealthy woman. A woman who has ate her way from all things that make her a "Goddess", physically, emotionally, and spiritually. You see I believe that if one thing goes, the others will. I have learned how important balance is.  Now before I really get into it, I am not looking for sympathy, or someone to tell me "Oh, you are not that fat." What I am doing is becoming accountable to myself. How? Well, by putting it ALL out there. See I figure if I put the good, the bad, and the ugly out there, I will have to do something. Maybe, just maybe, others will be inspired to do the same...  

Let me just tell you that as I write this, my heart is beating out of my chest, I feel my anxiety growing and all I want to do is hit delete! This is one of the hardest things I have ever done. It is embarrassing, it is admitting that I am human. Honestly, I just want to vomit, I am scared.  Breathe in, breathe out. O.k, here goes.




We all have a story, here is mine:


I am 5 foot and 11 1/2 inches tall. Weight was never an issue with me, until about 14 years ago after the birth of my first child. Up until that point I actually was hassled from friends and family for being "too thin." In my late teens and early 20's I was a part time model. I weighed 135 to 140 during that time. Right before I had my first child I weighed about 185. For the last 14 years I have become obese and unhealthy. I have issues with Insulin Resistance, Depression/Anxiety, high cholesterol, allergies, skin issues, and right before the holidays, found out that I have atrial narrowing of the blood vessels in my eyes, which is indicative of high blood pressure. Genetics do play a part in my health, but I will only give it so much credit. My health is due to MY OWN lifestyle choices, bad food, chemicals and not living clean.
 I smoke. Yep, I smoke! EWWWW, go ahead you can say it, I do. I am not proud of this. I loathe smoking, I hate the smell. So why do I do it? I smoked socially for a few years before I had my first child and stopped as soon as I found out that I was pregnant. I never touched it until about 4 years ago, I was dealing with some crappy life stuff and took a puff off of a friend's cigarette and started smoking. That is all that it took. If you do not smoke, don't! It is the most addicting thing and it is killing me. But I am committed to quitting.


This blog is not about a New Year resolution, it is not about me whining about how bad my life is. It is my way of getting healthy. Do I think I will be a size 8 and weigh 135 pounds and model again? Heck, no! Don't get me wrong, I would love to be that, but today I am a realist. This is not the first time I have entered into the "getting healthy" zone. But it is the first time I being completely honest with myself and others. It is time.



I could not find a better pic, since I usually delete them or crop them out!
My Stats:

Today January 5, 2013:


I am 5 foot 11 and 1/2 inches tall.
 I weigh 263 pounds.I wear a size "big girl", no I wear a 24 pant. My waist is 46 inches, and good Lord have mercy! my hips measure 55 inches!  Yes I am a walking heart attack. My chest, Hahaha, I joke and say this is the only good thing about being fat, I have a chest now! Under the ever sagging breasts it is 42 inches.


Well here it is, the beginning of my journey to health. I quote the Nike, and say "JUST DO IT!"




15 comments:

  1. Heather,
    Thanks for sharing your story and your journey. You will be an encouragement to many women facing the same challenges. My favorite way to change a habit of any kind is to add, rather than take away. Here, that is what you have done: instead of cutting photos of yourself out, you have added them. And may I say, you are lovely? ~Blessings on your challenge!

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    1. Thank you my friend. Yes, I will be adding some "new" things to my life, such as exercise,(blah), eating cleaner and naturally.

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  2. THANK YOU for being so open and sharing your story and your heart! THat is NO DOUBT a VERY hard thing to do; but GOOD FOR YOU for taking this public step. I think you will find that hthis resonates with SO MANY of us out here, including myself! May I join you on this committment to better health and ask that we could keep each other accountable?

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    1. Shanyn, I know many woman/men that can relate to me. Yes! Join me, join me!

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  3. You go girl, I'm right there with you! Our whole family decided this year that it was time to eat healthy and lose some pounds. The first time we've ever done it together! I wish I had your guts to put all my information out for everyone to read.. maybe I can work up to it because I LOVE this idea of holding yourself accountable!!!

    <3 you, hun! You can do this!

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    1. Glad you are making the change to become healthy too! I am still reeling from putting it all out there at the moment, but it is what it is! Thanks for the encouragement!

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  4. You rock babe!!! So honest and refreshing...we've all been there, but it takes real guts to put it all out there! It's going to be fun watching your journey and sharing it with you!

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    1. Bev, you have known me for a loooong time. If only someone would of pulled me aside and told me years ago that this would for happened to me. lol

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  5. Heather, your honesty is the beginning of the real healing. It is refreshing and real; keep going.

    I'm here to help in any way I can - just let me know via Facebook, e-mail, blog comments or whatever.

    Blessings,
    Sheila

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    1. I will hold you to it! I am sure as I travel through this there will be times I will need an extra shoulder to cry on!

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  6. I can NOT wait to follow you in your journey! If this first post is any indication, you will do it with humor, grace and determination. Kudos to you!

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    1. Lisa,
      Thank you so very much. Yes, humor, gotta have humor!

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  7. Hef, I am proud of you for your honesty and for taking a step toward better health. I really need to do the same thing, and would love, to be your accountability buddy! I didn't know about your eyes - scarey. I'm a phone call or text away sista...your can do this! I love you. -Jen

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    1. To my wonderful, beautiful best friend! How many times have we tried to become healthy? I still remember eating fish at Mom's on the Hilton Head diet, shudder! Thankfully I have learned to like some fish. I love you too!

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  8. I love you and your honesty! Seriously, this is admirable and I'm so proud! If you ever need an out of shape, overweight buddy to walk with or go grab a salad, you let me know and I'm so in! Keep up the great work and I know you'll kick butt! :)

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